The ruins.

Good afternoon everyone, I hope you are having a great day. My day has been filled with many emotions. Yesterday I confirmed what my gut had told me all along about my ex that he had in fact cheated. Today I am filled with all the questions, why? That’s the biggest one and then all the what if’s start to pour on in. What if I wasn’t so fat? What if I were prettier? What if I made more money? Would he had cheated? But I have to stop myself from the self-destructing thoughts because in the end I know that even if all of those were true he still would have been the same person, and I would still be sitting here in ruins asking the what if’s.
If any of you have been cheated on just know that nothing you change would change the scenario, and that you are fine just the way you are.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie 🍁 ☕ 🍁 ☕

For today I’m filled with worry.

Today is a day of worry for me, as most of you know my job revolves around cleaning apartments when people move out. Well today I’m worried as I’m working on the last vacant apartment until someone else moves out, which means that my hours may be cut back. I am not a full time employee as it is but to have them cut will be detrimental to my budget. I didn’t expect this last apartment to be so clean when I started. I’m used to messy, messy keeps me working, messy keeps my already tight budget flowing. So today I’m going to set up my shop on etsy in hopes to make up for whatever I may lose. I am thinking about sell not only my crocheted goodies but also my little trinkets of jewelry. I however will keep my faith as I know God will see me through this.

So I’m going to ask that if anyone has any advice on starting an etsy shop it would be very much appreciated.

Love and hugs from my very worried home to your’s.

Stephanie 🍁🌻🍁🌻

Sometimes I think I think too much. 🙇

What happens when you’re an over thinker? You go crazy hahaha, not really but over thinking things can open up a whole new world of possibilities. I find myself throughout a given day not day dreaming but thinking. Things like; why did this happen? Or why is this the way it is?

Are you an over thinker? Think about it and let me know.

I hope you all have an amazing Wednesday.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie 🍁 🍂 🍁 🍂

Crazy week and feeling like I’m alone.

Sorry I haven’t written in a few days. Not only have I been emotionally drained but my little man starts kindergarten on Thursday. I did take some pictures of him for back to school with my big camera, and I will post those later. Today has been really hard my dad (whom I live with) has been in an extremely bad mood, yelling all day and just being completely negative. I’m getting really tired of this as it happens very often and I just need a new change. I really try to stay as positive as possible and try to keep focused on what I need to do so I can better my son’s and my life. It’s really funny a couple of nights ago I had a dream and in that dream I was at a church with my little guy and we went to get back into the car and I see this homeless man and all of a sudden my dad shows up and scoffs at the homeless gentleman, I then go into the back of the suv and pull out an emergency kit for the man and hand it to him and he starts crying. It was at that moment I woke up and the feeling I had brought tears to my eyes and the only thing I could think is “I need to get closer to god.”

Well enough of my emotional ramblings I’m hoping that the rest of this week is and gets better.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie 🍁 🍂 🍁 🍂

Bad night.

Last night was one of the worst nights I have had in a while. It all started with a really bad dream about my ex. When I woke my heart was racing and I was sweating.  I won’t elaborate on what the dream was but I will say my day has gotten progressively worse. Upon starting work I smashed my finger in one of the washing machine doors and then there was also some stuff that has been on my mind about a possible cut in hours. I’m beyond worried and just want things to start falling into place. I am finding it really hard here lately to stay the positive cheery self I usually am.

Sorry for the random ramblings.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie ☔⚡☔⚡

Influenster!

So guys Friday I received my latest voxbox the wellness voxbox from  influenster.  What is a voxbox and influenster you ask? Well influenster is a company that sends out new products for participants to try for absolutely free. I was a bit skeptical at first, but it’s really simple all you have to do is when you get a voxbox there are specific tasks but simple task that you do for each product in the voxbox.  The more tasks you do the higher your score, the higher your score the more likely you are to be a candidate for another box in the future.  Oh and the good thing about these boxes is that the products are full size products.

Now what was in the wellness voxbox?
Well the first product is the Olay Active Botanicals Refreshing Gel Cleanser. This one is my favorite so light weight and doesn’t dry out your skin.
Next is the New Jergens Wet Skin Moisturizer. This one is great for your legs arms and body but I wouldn’t recommend it for your hands as it does get a bit greasy.
Next is the ATTITUDE Hair Care, this product I was a bit scared to try sense I have been using herbal essence shampoo and conditioner for about 7 years now, but this shampoo is so weightless and has left my hair so shiny.
Next is the Colgate Enamel Health Mouthwash, now if you drink a lot of acidic drinks or eat a lot of acidic food this is the mouth wash for you. It works great and does help restore enamel.
Next is the Urgent Ache and Pain Relief To-go, this product is a lifesaver it comes in a powder form and tastes amazing the plus too is if you don’t have water there’s no need to worry because you won’t need it, and it is fast acting.
And finally the last thing is a app called Yaye Group Fitness motivation and connection, now this app is new to me and have just downloaded it so stay tune for feed back on it.

Well I hope this is very informative and helps you all enjoy the really free things in life.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie 🌻 ☕ 🌻 ☕

What do you do when you’re broken.

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a few days but I have been in a really weird place in my life. I feel as though I’m broken, as though no matter how hard I work nothing ever changes. I have had every form of abuse you can think of from sexual abuse, to verbal, physical, and emotional abuse and the verbal and emotional continue to this day. I feel as though it will never get better and that it just keeps getting worse. I know my anxiety has gotten a lot worse. Every time I look in the mirror I see the toll all of this has taken on my body because the image that stares back is someone who looks almost 10 years ahead of her time. 

I’m not writing this for sympathy or to make anyone for sorry more or less to get it out of my head.  I hope that this in a way will make sense in some way.

I hope you all have an amazing Saturday.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie 🌻 ☕ 🌻 ☕

The project I have been working on to help curb my anxiety. 

Get to know your blogger. 21 things you may not know about me.

So I thought I would write a post on 21 things you may not know about me.

1. I have only left my home state of California once.
2. I lost my mom at the age of 14.
3. I have never been on a air plane.
4. I have always dreamed of traveling to Paris.
5. I don’t know how to drive (secretly scared to learn).
6. I want to visit New York City one day.
7. I have a huge love for animals.
8. I’m terrified of spiders.
9. I’m a working single mom.
10. My dream in to be a professional photographer.
11. I love shopping but hate shopping for clothes.
12. I’m 27 and still live at home with my dad and son.
13. I’m overweight but have learned to love my body instead of hate it.
14. I really want to start a YouTube channel.
15. I am an introvert who longs to be an extrovert.
16. In high school I took 2 years of french.
17. I use to want to be a nurse but soon after high school found it wasn’t for me.
18. I have a huge love for yoga.
19. I’m addicted to buying purses.
20. I’m a perfectionist because I fear criticism.
21. I was raped at a very young age more than once.

Well I hope you all enjoyed this post.
What are some things you want the world to know about you? Think it over everyone has a story share your’s with the world.
The only bad story is the one not written.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.
Stephanie 🌻 ☕ 🌻 ☕

What am I doing with my life?

So here lately my life has been a whirlwind of well crazy I recently got out of a 3 year relationship that was a lot less than ideal making me a single mom once again. I did get a job which I love and am also working on writing a book. I have a love for crochet ( I guess you could say I’m hooked. Haha) and jewelry making. I also capture a lot of my life through a little glass lens.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful evening.

Love and hugs from my home to your’s.

Stephanie 🌻🌼🌻🌼